Since social media took over all our lives, it's become nearly impossible to get away with a lie. Anything that gets put online is instantly vetted by a community of people who are bound to figure out the truth. It's no longer a matter of if, but when. When are your Facebook friends going to figure out you and Ashley were never dating? How long before your Instagram followers realize your trip to Cancun was photoshopped? Those of you who have been caught up in a lie know what it's like. Those who don't can live vicariously through the cheatings husbands and cold-hearted criminals on this list.
When He Offers To Clean The House
This lady's husband said he'd do her a favor by cleaning up the house while she was away for the weekend. When she returned, the house was clean. As it turns out, he used a cleaning service and would have gotten away with it had he simply removed Merry Maids sticker from the toilet paper roll.
I've never heard of a state-issued cellphone before so this is definitely a first. Also, you gotta respect this man's hustle. Even after being outed by one of his Facebook friends, he keeps plugging that supposedly free phone. Talk about ambition. This kid is going places.
Wanna Try Again?
This is what they call being caught with your hand in the cookie jar, or more simply put, caught red-handed. At this point, if you're this guy, you're pretty much screwed. I see no way out other than running for your life and playing it off as if it wasn't you who she saw in line at the club. At least he wasn't caught cheating like the guy further down on this list.
In the VIP Booth a.ka. The Living Room
If music pumping he's talking about is the theme music from Modern Family and by other girls, he means his dog Stella, then yeah, he's definitely been getting the VIP treatment since he plopped his butt on the living room couch. Still, this doesn't sound like a completely awful night to me.
What if I Did, Huh?
Who actually reads these things anyway? Companies are very aware people don't read the licensing agreements, that's why they bury all the consequential details somewhere in the middle. I'd say 2.3 seconds is longer than the average person would give to one of these things. I bet I could do it in under 2.
Cheating is never okay, but sometimes it's funny, especially in a scenario like this one where the wife sets out to embarrass her unfaithful husband. I think it's safe for us to laugh. I beginning to sense that men who lie to their wives are becoming a theme. There's another example of it later on.
How Dare He
Not the mac and cheese. Anything but the mac and cheese. if you can't appreciate your own wife's cheesy noodle recipe then you probably shouldn't be together. Cheating of this brand is considered betrayal of the highest order. You can't forgive that.
Reddit Strikes Again
When there's a mystery that needs solving look no further than the amateur Sherlocks of Reddit who never fail to crack the case. Remember the impossible nail-through-wood trick that people were freaking out about? Naturally, a Reddit user who happened to be a carpenter handled that one swiftly.
if their wives didn't actually know that they were at the game and were instead under the impression that they were both at work then this was an incredibly stupid thing to do. If they did know, then these signs were a very clever way of getting some screen time at the match. Speaking of clever people, a few slides down the list you can find a mother who cleverly exposed her son's lie.
Channeling His Inner Lance Armstrong
If there's one thing Lance Armstrong taught us, it's how to lie and get away with it. The professional cyclist won seven Tour De France titles before he was ever caught for doping before an investigation finally uncovered the truth, forcing him to admit to it on the Opera Winfrey Show.
To Catch A Pervert
This perv likely expected to see the goods but got a picture of a lady flashing the middle finger. She probably could have made a huge stink about this and called him out in public. She chose the to take the subtle — yet effective — route instead. This is pretty damn funny.
How are you going to get out of this one? You've told your mother several times when questioned about your red eyes and sluggish speech that you were simply "tired" from a long day at school. Now she has evidence and you're fresh out of excuses. You plead ignorance by telling her that you have no clue how it got there. You could blame it on a friend. Or, you could tell the truth. That's a piece of advice everyone on this list should consider, especially the Facebook user who thinks she's going to marry her high school boyfriend.
Someone Should Confiscate His Keyboard
Wow, we're all impressed, kid. You really cleaned up kid. You drank a 26 to your face and hooked up with all those girls. You're a legend. Your night is definitely going down in house party history. How could you expect anyone to hold you back? He's like a freight train that can't be stopped so we either have to get on board or get out of the way. Keep it up, stud.
Is It, Though?
Ashley tried to pull a fast one on us. She would have succeeded were it not for the fact that her store hadn't even been built yet. Unless Ashley is selling merchandise from the back of a van around the corner I'm officially calling fiction on this. You spread nothing but lies, Ashley.
I think doubtful is putting it lightly. This statement flat out wrong. Great, you love Jacob. But that doesn't mean you have to make up false statistics to profess said love. The truth is only 2 percent of people marry their high school sweetheart. About 17 percent of those people never attend a post-secondary institution. This is all beginning to make sense now. This isn't even the most blatant lie on the list. That honor goes to the person just a few slides later.
Might As Well Have Some Fun With It
I feel like cops do stuff like this all the time. I remember one time my Korean friend was trying to get into a bar using a white friend's ID. He was turned away at the door by the bouncer. That's when a policeman standing nearby asked if he could see the idea. We all thought our buddy was about to be in trouble, but the cop laughed and asked if he could take the driver's license over to the squad car so he could show his partner, which he did, before giving it back.
Sign Me Up
If I had to guess I'd say the company that is advertising this computer-assisted language learning software doesn't offer a money back guarantee. There's no way anyone can learn Spanish fluently in three weeks. I took the language in high school for an entire semester and can hardly string a sentence together. The bearded man's face says it all.
He Can't Do That
Velma isn't buying any of that nonsense. She knows he's bluffing. It's pretty obvious Dracula doesn't have the power or the technology to pull off such a difficult procedure. I think Dracula is very much in the running for biggest liar on the list. It's still a close contest with the shop owner who has yet to appear.
So that means, no one ever. If what this fortune is saying is true then the United States is populated by exactly zero real patriots – unless we're counting the sick puppy who wrote this fortune in the first place because that would make one. Even that person likely isn't thrilled when they come back to find that unnerving slip of paper under their windshield wiper.
Sounds Like An Oxymoron
Something doesn't quite add up here. Aren't antiques supposed to be objects or furniture from a different century? In recent years, the term antique has been thrown around more loosely. For instance, pieces of furniture that have been built with similar design and craftsmanship to those of a past century have been called antiques as well. So maybe that's what this is referring to. Still seems kind of ridiculous.
He Said He Was Working Out
So this explains why your husband didn't seem to be getting any fitter even though he was going down to the basement to use the treadmill every day after work...
You Knew He Was In The Store Somewhere...
This person's husband wandered off in the middle of a shopping trip that was taking too long, and after 20 minutes of searching his wife finally found him. No wonder he wasn't answering his phone.
Nobody Needs To Know
You have the advantage of being the teacher so you could probably do more damage with the knowledge that your student skipped class than vice versa, and they know that, which is why you silently agree to both pretend you never saw the other person.
One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other
Considering most men use a 12-in-one body product in the shower or just a bar of soap, you'll find little evidence of them even being in the bathroom. But the beer bottle is a clear indication for this woman that her boyfriend showered at some point recently.
She's "Working On Her Novel"
Your wife said that she was spending her days "working on her novel" but clearly she's been experiencing some writer's block. Had you told her that you were working from home that day she might have at least pretended to be writing.
The Stash Has Been Compromised
All this time her husband thought he was being sneaky by hiding his Snickers bar in the freezer, but he had to know that eventually, someone was going to reach for that bag of edamame.
Staying Entertained During A Flight Delay
Sure, the Pixar movie marathon at the airport is meant to keep kids entertained during flight delays, but your boyfriend also needs some form of entertainment when you're stuck in the airport for 12 hours.
Attentive Parenting At Its Finest
All you asked was that your husband watch the baby while you run a few errands. It seemed like a simple enough task, yet you come home to find this scene in the living room and now you have to rethink your choices.
You Failed This Test
Your wife might not have done it on purpose but she somehow managed to test your relationship without even trying. You asked what her phone password was so you could check something, she said it was your wedding anniversary, and after one too many failed attempts you had to return the phone, hanging your head in shame.
This Is Not The Mayo You're Looking For
If you came into the kitchen to find your pregnant wife standing over the counter eating spoonfuls of mayonnaise you'd probably chalk it up to pregnancy cravings. In this particular case though, this pregnant wife has been hiding vanilla pudding in the mayo jar so no one else will eat it.